I would have never known.

(The following post has been cross-posted to tumblr.)

I have not yet ever seen my father cry. And I’m scared that tonight might be the night it happened. My father’s childhood friend, whom he had known since elementary school, survived cancer the first time she had it. We went to Taiwan to see her and she was perfectly fine. She was so energetic, so happy and so bright, no one could have known that she had ever had cancer. She took us out to dinner at a German restaurant when we went to visit her. She kept telling us kids to eat more, eat until we were full, that it was her treat. When we left, she gave us all a hug and told us if we were ever in Taiwan, we would be sure to come and visit her, and stay with her.

And then the cancer. It came a second time.

She didn’t make this one out alive.

I truly hope my father will attend the funeral. I truly hope that despite the skyrocketing airplane tickets, I truly hope he will attend to pay respect to a friend I know he loved so much. Tomorrow is the large company layoff at Nortel, and I know this is such an unfair shock to come at such a time, when he is already so stressed out.

I am in shock tonight. I never really knew her like my father did, but I considered her one of the happiest people I’d ever met. She was also most talented. Her beadwork was miraculous. She sent me necklaces, little trinkets she had made. As soon as I heard the news, I raided my necklace box. The necklace she gave me four years ago is now round my neck. I plan to keep it there for at least three months, or when the death shock passes over my family. My father said she left in peace. In the last few years of her life, she was hardly in connection with the world anymore. She took few phone calls, only from her daughter and mother. The last time my father talked to her, I knew she wasn't doing so well.

Where she is now, I hope she is painless and truly happy. She deserves the best that God can offer in heaven. I will truly miss the happiness and talent she brought to this world. The world needs more people like her, who constantly smile and see the better side of things, no matter how grim the day may be. She was an inspiration for better days and a better life. I hope she is living that life, wherever she is now.

Rest in peace.