Too early to say goodnight.

So today, while driving me to MLK, my dad brought up something I hadn't heard in a long time, and had almost forgotten; I literally jumped in my seat, then settled down and went... "oh, yeah..."

I never would have imagined that my dad wants to move our family back to Taiwan if he loses his job. It's not likely, and I say that with a fairly strong degree of confidence, but in the case it does happen, I never considered that we might have to.

Hm, and the whole day, I've been reflecting, pondering, mulling this. No one in my family opposes this arrangement, including me. It does make me a little shaky though. What if we do? That means I'm most likely not going to go to university in the US. Not to mention I'm leaving all of my friends here, the friends I grew up with and my four spouses (long story, ask another day, please) I have almost no friends back in Taiwan, and cousins don't count. My Taiwan cousins are all fobs (well norly) and that kind of makes me a teensy uneasy about moving back.

But anyway, that's besides the point. I never reconsidered this after my dad threw out a few job applications, but never got referred back. But now it's back...and this time, I wonder if it's actually going to happen? My thoughts are so jumbled and confusing...and all I can think about is what if it really does happen, and what will happen to the life I've created for myself here, the nooks and crannies and memories that make me who I am today?

I don't know. We'll wait and see.