As much as I would love to take your explanation, and as much as I felt I believed you and forgave you Sunday night -- I don't feel like I do anymore. It's horrible, how I can just take these things back...forgiveness, faith, and hope. But I was in shock and I hated to see you hurting and groveling and begging me to forgive you and I just...pitied you. Am I being pretentious? No, I'm not. You did beg for forgiveness. But now, I'm just not so sure.
The truth is, though, we're just not the same anymore. We're really just passed a point of no return, or should I say, you have. I know you too well to know you would ever do something like that to me. I've known you for too long, too well...you wouldn't, you simply wouldn't. It's amazing...my friends were more angry than I was over this mess, and they yelled at you over this while I remained silently in the shadows, wanting to be angry, but without the fire to fuel it. There's never been any instance where Elizabeth yelled at you for something and called you stupid for doing it, and I didn't. The fact is, I just didn't have the heart to do it on Sunday.
What about now?
I did hit you. On the shoulder. I was angry. Irrational. When I flipped open my phone, put it on speakerphone, and demanded you explain, you laughed. I was ready to kill you for one split second, but my anger came out in the form of a slap, and after that, I just turned away. And I don't regret that, because you deserved that. You agree with me, so the case is closed.
Are we okay? I'm not sure. Do I forgive you? Definitely not completely. But for now, wait it out and prove your faith back to me. In other words, win my friendship and my trust back. I'm not letting you have it free of charge this time.
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