take me to your heart

The bracelets I bought at the Taiwan night markets are falling apart...well not "falling apart" in that sense, but a section of the rose on the rose bracelet fell off and the paint's chipping off one of the beads on the four-strand one...ah well, what do you expect for 100 NT :(

The Project A topics get more and more boring as you near #400. I printed out the list and I have about 20 topics that I really want. The list will grow as I scrutinize the list further and research some...but I don't know how early I'm going to have to get up to get Norman Rockwell, which is my first choice. :|

In two days, the twins will be turning sixteen. I don't know what to think about them anymore. I know I'm mean to them, and I feel like I'm getting meaner every day. I'm not nice to people anymore and I feel as if I'm being corrupted by something. I'm irritable to everyone, and even to myself. As for the twins, I know they're not very good friends. If we want to go somewhere, it's usually "Oh, we're available only on Sundays, after five o'clock" which is absolutely ridiculous.

Elizabeth and I had these issues with them when they never could spend time with us, nor bothered to make efforts to. I don't regard them as friends anymore, because the term "one-way friendship" is an oxymoron. But I don't know what to do. I know being mean to them is wrong. I'm not...swearing at them or anything, I just don't look them in the eye and don't really talk to them at lunch. I know it's mean. But when you're on a roll, you don't really stop...augh, that's the worst habit I have. I never leave the rolls that I'm on until someone coaxes me out of it.

ugh, I know I'm not making sense.

I have gifts for them but I don't want to go out on Monday. I want to mail them.

What should I do?

Stop being mean, maybe? Very obviously, that's the best way out...but augh, I never, and that means never leave my rolls, even when I know they're wrong. It just feels so lame to leave them.

I'm wrong every way I look.