2008 AID Reunion

Quickly, because I have to go do homework and eat lunch. We made this for our three guys who didn't come to Norcal for our AID reunion. You can hear me laughing in the background near the end which is a dead giveaway. I failed.

This was our last day together.

I miss them already.

I hate proprietaries.

❝How do I know how many Wall posts I have?

Facebook no longer displays your total Wall post count, as your Wall is now a combination of posts that have been left on your Wall and your recent activity.❞

I'M GOING TO PUNCH SOMETHING. REALLY. HARD.

I like how that's not even answering the question. I have been wondering this ever since Facebook❝kicked off❞ their new design (which, by the way, I still hate with a passion) and now I find that there's no way to know how many wall posts I have anymore, and have to count them manually if I really want to know. Which, of course, I will not bother doing.

Two posts in one day, but it's okay.

Maybe I'll become a hermit.
Squirrel soup!

Happy holidays!

I hope everyone has had a happy holidays! I'm sorry for my absence on blogspot - I've been feeling less open lately, and have receded to my lj for posts. I'm feeling better now!

My holidays were just lovely. Family came over for a wonderful Christmas Eve dinner - and Tiffany & family came over too, so that was really nice :) Gift wise; I got a small pink mp3 player (that didn't work the way I liked) so it's being returned. However, the biggest gift of all - a Nintendo Wii, from my parents. It's supposedly only for them, but you know how the surprise goes. I picked up the package that said "Mom and Dad" and weighed it with my hands and concluded it was a Wii on the 23rd before I went to bed.

When my cousins came over on the 24th, I told them I thought my parents got us a Wii. They told me it was near impossible to get one nowadays - unless it was off eBay. I gave up some degree of hope. When we opened presents, we opened the Wii and my doubts were confirmed. We opened my cousins' gift last; it was so huge. I was really confused as to what it was - I thought it was a dog, but no, that was impossible. A dog couldn't have breathed through all the wrapping paper. It was huge. My brother and I tore it open - and lo and behold, my two cousins had known about the Wii all along, because what did they get us? Rockband - for the Wii.

I love my family.

Meanwhile...homework awaits. I leave you all with a 'happy holidays!' and best wishes for this new year :) I can't wait for 2009! A new beginning, fresh and clean. This is going to be nice.

Wow.

I have never been more frustrated.

A- on the APUSH final. A final I seriously thought I failed.

And my grade didn't freaking move. I have an 89. I'm so, so close to a 90... but LP & participation hasn't gone it yet. I know they're not going to move it though. WHAT THE HE( ) heck.

I ... hate myself.

What am I?

I am so tired. I feel horrible. It's 11:38 PM and I still need to rewrite one and a half of my precis and find one more allusion for the AP binder. I have done almost no studying for finals this weekend and I can't believe that after this week my grades are final.

I would rather die than see those grades on my transcript.

Christmastime

What a happy time this is supposed to be. I love this time of year...when the Christmas trees come out, silver bells and gold stars hang everywhere, wreaths and Christmas lights come out onto peoples' front porches...I just love the season.

It's too bad I can't enjoy it this year.

→ edit

Why can't I do this? This is too much for me. No. It is not too much. So why can't I motivate myself to work? My grades already make me cry when I see them. Why am I like this?

I had so much motivation to work in freshman & sophomore year. I did work without question. I finished early so I could go to bed early. I finished early so I would have more time to do things that I loved to do, like spend time with family.

Why can't I do that now? Now, I put things off until the last minute, taking my happy time first and then freaking out when I can't finish. When I do the work, I don't ever do it well anymore. Ever. And that's why my grades are falling so hard.

The UC & CSU budget cuts scare the heck out of me too. Next year, it's going to be even worse when we apply. I don't know what to do. I can't motivate myself to work, and I can't tell myself that homework always comes first, no matter what. I don't know what I'm thinking anymore.

Kristine tells me not to be so hard on myself. But I'm not being hard on myself...I just never do work like I used to anymore. I don't sleep, and so my brain can't function correctly. When I think I'm doing something the right way, it never comes out right anymore. And that's why something so easy for others...is becoming a burden to me.

I don't know what I'm talking about. This was supposed to be a short rant. But it's turning into a long one. Inside, I feel absolutely hysterical. I don't know what, when, why, how. My future is blurry. I don't even know if I have one.

What am I going to do?

Some changes.

I feel so different today.

I find it really interesting that when I'm depressed, everyone in journalism automatically detects something's wrong. Everyone kind of looked at me funny today, because when I'm in the room it's usually incredibly loud, full of maniac-like laughs for the entire period. But I was really sad today... and man, everyone in journalism was like "Um...Karen? What's wrong with you today?!"

Truth is, my Project A got a 4. I can't say I'm not satisfied, because I really am. 40 points...it boosted my grade 2 percent. What made me depressed was the fact that I got a freaking -200 on my PSAT...and regardless of Project A, my grade in APUSH is still not an A. Which means I absolutely need an A on the APUSH final to get an A- in the class. I have an 89 now. I can't freaking believe I bombed the last two midterms; they pulled my grade down so, so much.

Now, PSAT. I was furious at myself today, when I got it back. I didn't break 2000. In fact, I wasn't even close. What kind of Asian am I? I fail. When I put my head in my hands, Tiffany and Laura thought I was happy that I got a good score. So, they started going like "Dude...I bet Karen totally aced that." "I know!" & that kind of just made me feel worse.

So, I went to journalism all depressed and glum. Joel pulled me outside after I was quiet for the entire period and asked what was wrong; when I told him it was PSAT he said I was too Asian. But that's not true! I'm not Asian enough, and that's why I failed that test.

All my friends are National Merit.

So when I came home today, I slept to get rid of the bad thoughts. When I woke up, they seemed to have disappeared. But now, I feel so determined to succeed, pick myself up and try again. I found that I played two straight hours of piano easily; I had absolutely no urge to get up and move around. For the full two hours, I sat there, played and concentrated, and the only thing in my mind was "You have to succeed. If you set your mind to it, do it."

Well, back to homework. I only allow myself 10 minutes writing blog posts/facebook each night now.

fruitless ambitions

I have honestly given up on AP Biology.
It seems as if everything I do in that class is so fruitless. I read, but I get yelled at in class for "obviously not reading". I just don't remember, really. I have all that APUSH reading in my mind...do you honestly believe I have the time to constantly reread my AP Bio notes? I do the work I'm required to do. But honestly, this class has made me hate biology.

I don't know what kind of college I'm going to. I don't want to know until the time really comes. But I'm definitely screwing up my life right now; my grades being what they are.

Not just the class, everything I do is so fruitless. Why don't I have a motivation to study anymore? Why I am so addicted to the internet, something I never had a problem with back in freshman & sophomore year? Why don't I get my butt off Facebook or Livejournal and just start working? Is it really that hard? If not then why can't I do it?

What is wrong with me?

It's sad. It really is.

I remember picking up the newspaper Saturday morning, expecting to see the usual influx of murder cases, hit and runs, public drunks, and maybe some more Obama news on how he's getting a new dog.

But then I read the murder case on the Valley headlines and I looked at the suspect's name. And I remember thinking, "Oh God, no. He's Chinese."

Seriously, Virginia Tech all over again?

But then I read the article, and I began to formulate an understanding for why this man killed the three people. "A normal father", people called him. Normal. But obviously, he was living on a line and somehow lost his balance and fell off. There's nothing wrong with that in real life. But when you fall a bit further than others, and can't get back up...well, sometimes you go to extremes, when you just "can't take it anymore".

So he took the gun and killed two men and one woman. Confined to a mental ward by the sheriff, it was obvious that he wouldn't be the same ever again.

I read the newspaper headlines today when I came home from school. And I know I'm a horrible person for not thinking of the victims who were killed first, but when I saw the picture with his head bowed, looking like a total criminal in that yellow smock, I almost cried.

I'm not saying I feel completely sorry for him. I know what he did was wrong, very wrong, but I read the article, and they quoted the lawyer. He said "Even the most law-abiding person can break under stress."

What about his children? What does his wife have to tell them? "Ba ba zuo le huai shi, suo yi...bu ke yi hui lai." How can these children believe that the dad that played with them during summertime, splashing in the pool and piggybacking them across the backyard...took a gun, aimed it at a person, and pulled the trigger?

It's just so sad how people can burst under stress. I don't know the circumstances surrounding the situation, because obviously, I'm not related to this man or his family. But I can't help but think of...how hard it is, to provide for a family. And when you're fired because your "performance" is not up to par...can you imagine the panic, the fear, about your status as a family breadwinner, and how you can no longer serve this position?

And then, I think of my own father.

I think about how he works so hard for our family. I think about how he comes home every night, and the first thing he asks is "How was your day?" It's never "Whew, I had such a hard day today!" It's always "How was yours?" My dad never complains. He works tirelessly during the week and on the weekends he always asks my brother and I, "What do you want to eat this weekend?" He ends up spending the whole weekend cooking, baking, doing some sort of home improvement project...being productive. Sometimes I wonder if he's ever worried or anxious about anything.

Whenever my aunt calls from Thailand to talk to my dad, her younger brother, I'm always the one who ends up talking to her because I pick up the phone first. She always tells me about how lucky I am to have a father like her little brother. And every time I just nod, listen, and say "mhm" every now and then. But now I think I know why.

I'm old enough to realize that what my parents do for me is not "just because". I think I'm past that. But sometimes, when I'm angry at them, I immediately see all of their little fallacies and hate them for giving me so many rules. But it's at that point that I lose sight of what's really important...I've been alive my 16 years because of their care. I think that's saying a lot.

Parents love you like no one can. And really, it's amazing what they do to protect the ones they love. I don't believe this man killed his boss out of hate, or because he was a criminal, sick-minded person. I believe this man was under so much stress, workload mixed in with providing for his family, that he simply couldn't handle the fact that he would no longer be able to feed his children. He took the three lives because he couldn't stand it. And I know it's wrong. But don't you believe that he was simply head over heels for his family...and that is what led him to such horrible atrocities?

I think that's the most powerful love in the world.

emilie muller, comedienne

It's going, going, gone.

thebreakfastcafe → karenpizookie
Valid starting: 12/1
Change me up if you have me added, dears. :)

& shush, I like the word. ♥

Rawr.

So as of right now, I'm part of two active blogs on this account: this one and the AP blog.

The AP Bio blog is really active, and I try to post whenever I can, too. But my teacher (Mrs. Sarkar) isn't letting me put my picture or my full name on my profile...and since this blog & the AP one are both under the same account it limits what I can do here. I don't like that :( I took off my picture this afternoon, and changed my name to just Karen. For now I'm staying here, but I made a new one that may or may not be revealed in the near future. Whatever, it's fine. I know you all hate me for switching around so often but meh.

I liked that picture too :(

I hate freshmen.

I should probably just stop spamming twitter and complain here instead :|

W-was I really that annoying when I was a freshman? I mean, did I fight with people for taking the tutees I tagged, but actually didn't..? Did I sneak tags from behind Bergantz's back and do them myself? (I busted a freshman for that today and it felt good. She ended up getting chewed out by Bergantz.) <__< Don't judge me...I was in a bad mood, and watching really loud and annoying freshmen fight over a stupid red binder was majorly pissing me off.

Now that I'm a junior I know why upperclassmen get mad at sophomores and freshmen from complaining about their workloads. They don't even know. Whatever. They'll learn. For now, I'll keep being annoyed at freshmen until they learn to suck. it. up.

I love these.

thebreakfastcafe → paradeofcolors

If for some reason you find that clicking on my blog leads you to "blog not found" you'll know that I've finally changed my URL 8D This is way better than moving, because I can keep everything here, but it's a hassle to everyone, oui/non? D8 I'm sorry. There's just too much to make a title out of and I can never decide. ;o; Arigato gozaimasu! ♥

Please let me grow up faster.

What's the best way to describe today?

Let's start with the word traumatizing.

In the morning, my dad threatened to take away everything from me. Everything...if my grades didn't get back up to satisfaction. That made me upset.

In the afternoon, my mom picked a fight with me. She found out I was sleeping when I had homework to do and came screaming into my room. She threw my Scarlet Letter book down the hallway, grabbed me by the ankles and told me to go outside (Outside in our house means the living room). When I asked her to bring my book back, she told me to go get it. When I started to cry, she went down, picked up the book, and attempted to hit my ankles again. This time, I pulled away in time and the book just bounced onto the bed.

Then she sat down and told me I was ruining my life. I was ruining my life because my grades were dropping and I couldn't handle staying up late. She was working too hard for me and she wanted me to turn my life around. The whole time I was just curled in a little ball in the corner of my bed, crying. She screamed at me to sit up, but I couldn't and wouldn't. She finally left my room, saying "I'm telling your father to come home." She never called.

After an hour or so, she came back into my room and apologized. I didn't say anything. I just let the tears run down. I forgive her. I know she was angry. I know I stress her out. I know everything she said is true. I know it's my fault for ruining myself, but it's not her right to touch me. I forgive her, but not so we can be back to normal in just one night.

My parents try to make conversation with me now. But I don't talk to them. I don't say more than is absolutely necessary and I eat dinner and leave the table ten or fifteen minutes before everyone else. When my dad asks me a question I nod or shake my head. When my mom sits down at the table I scoot my chair two or three inches away from hers, closer to the window. I only talk to my brother, and he's like a messenger to my parents, I guess.

I'm done. I'm done.

I thought about ending a life today. Tears just welled up in my eyes spontaneously, or for the smallest things, like when I didn't get a math problem or I felt overwhelmed with homework all of a sudden. Why was I even born on Earth? I can't handle life.

It's hard to start junior year like this. It's hard for me to realize that I'm not actually a very good student, just very lucky. And now that I'm falling, it's much too hard to get up again.

God, I give up.

The best thing about life.

Today was okay, I guess. Not a bad day, not a good day either. But a lot happened after and during 6th, and for the most I was happy after 2:00 :)

I'll write more later, if I have time (I doubt that, haha) but for now, bullets...

• Kimberly + Karen = ♥ (she make me a bouquet of paper flowers! 8D)
  
• Page issues. I need to go apologize tomorrow...but at least Ms. Taylor found it absolutely hilarious. :(
  
• I love feeling loved. ♥
• I might actually...sleep before 1:30 today, haha.
  
• Talked with Hannah & Sue after school... always fun :)
• On good terms with Sylvia...that's a small plus, I guess. At least I got a smile out of her :)
• I really should not be writing this and doing my homework! ):
  
• Last note: change of URL :) Au revoir!
  

I'm glad I married right.

My most recent email:

:'( im sorry too! aww... i love you!!! i totally forgive u and im sorry i didnt think about your situation before i got mad... thanks for emailing me. :) let's walk together tomorrow. hopefully u get this email today. well, ill go find you anyways. :) ya know what? let's just forget about fall rally north. if ur mom was reluctant to let you go then it's okay. im not too crazy about it either i guess.. im really sorry too. :( thank you. =)

eliza <3

..OH MY GUACAMOLE, I LOVE MY WIFE ELIZABETH CHENG SO FREAKIN' MUCH ):

I love you too! I'm so glad we're not all huffy with each other anymore (: /hugs and squeezes

Pop goes the water!

Today was a bad day. I wrote about it elsewhere and I don't want to recap it because I don't want to remember it. But I'm feeling better. I see that my grades have hope now; so do my Panel pieces, which I think are coming along nicely. I just need to keep pushing forward, keep my work times consistent and efficient.

The only thing I feel really bad about is how I hurt someone I love so much today. She didn't deserve it; my inability to see past myself and my pain hurt her instead, and apparently she's very upset because she doesn't know why. She's more than a friend to me and I can't believe I treated her like that...wow. Just not talking to someone or pushing them away, even the slightest bit, when they offer consolation...is very hurtful to that person.

But anyway, I'd like to thank Linda, the twins, and Grace for helping me out in Bio today when I broke down, especially Linda because she stayed with me all the way to AP English and tried so hard to calm me down and make me feel better. I love you girls :)

KILLS COMPUTER, KILLS COMPUTER

Do I seriously not have the ability to sleep early anymore?! /cries and bangs computer simultaneously/ asdlfkjafdh FRUSTRATED.

Annoyed. Tired. PO'ed.

Wow, it's not that hard. When I say don't talk to me, it means exactly what it says. What part of it do you not understand? Must I clarify everything for you guys?

I'm busy, I'm away, I don't have time to deal with the stupid Gchat sounds that pop up every single time a new IM comes in. Go away. Don't talk to me. Leave me alone. Can I make myself any more clear?

I'm only on Gchat to offer homework help or to receive it when I need it, not to talk to people during school days when I'm swamped with homework. When I say I'm busy in my away message, DON'T message me! It's not hard, you just don't push the button, el oh el? Ugh, go away, I don't want to hear about what classes you guys are taking or about how much free time you guys have.

And don't you dare go saying we need to make a chat a "regular thing!!" When I leave because there's no one there, you say "omg, that's not the right attitude!! make this regular!!" BLAH. Don't you dare feed me those lines. I will tone you out, block you, make you go away. A regular thing is only regular when people actually talk. Don't give me that trash.

(By the way, if you're reading this and you talk to me on Gchat, it's not you who bugs me. I promise. This only applies to a special certain group of people.)

But they don't really comprehend.

I came home and slept for 3 hours. I just couldn't hold up my energy for two consecutive days like that. I don't know. I feel very tired, but I feel like I've done more this weekend than usual.

Still, there's that Bio test tomorrow that's constantly preying on my mind. I hope I do well. I'm going to study like there's no tomorrow tonight.

Thank goodness I finished APUSH notes yesterday, my head probably would have exploded if I had to do them today. I still have to finish my annotation, play piano, do SAT math...

...which is what brings me here, WHY AM I WRITING THIS when I have so much to do?!

Let me show you the way to my heart.

When I came home from MLK today, after spending a very solid 6 or 7 hours holed up doing Project A and homework, my parents and I were talking around the dinner table. My dad finally spoke up and said

"Karen, why don't you just let loose more?"
"..What do you mean?"
"Like...forget about going to Berkeley. Let loose and relax."

I said I'd like to die if I didn't get in and my mom said well, what if you really don't?

I guess I'd die? Or hide in my room like a grasshopper and not come out for ninety days. Whichever one comes first.

Ugh, I hate my grades, I hate my personality, I hate my outlook on things. My dad said I take everything too easily and I think everything is easy. He says I've always been like that, and in reality it's not what I think it is. My mom said I need to study more and I need to budget time correctly in order to achieve what I want.

I know it's constructive criticism, but I just felt very tired and cranky and annoyed and I said, "I know it's not easy!", then took my backpack and went to my room and cried.

Why do I hate myself so much? Why, if I do, can I not get myself off of the stupid chair, slip a pencil in between my thumb and index finger, and move it back and forth to form the words of my assignments, in a quick and efficient fashion? Why can't I bring myself to ask questions during class, and end up stressing about what the actual assignment is at 8 PM at night, when everyone is pretty much done? Is it because I really don't care? But I do care! Why is it that my body, my hands, my brain...won't listen to me?!

So many unanswered questions. And I'm so tired tonight.

My head hurts.

I like the fact that I sleep for two hours when I come home and then stay up until 2 doing homework and talking to people. Mostly it's Albert, who I practice Chinese with and always talk to when we're both online :), or Dexter/Norris checking up on me and making sure I'm not suicidal, occasionally Tiffany or Grace just 'cause they're awesome. I find that a lot more people IM me nowadays, it seems that everyone asks me for help with homework this year, augh ):

I also find that the journalism sophomores tend to come to me for help instead of asking the EiC's. I find that really odd; I don't even know that much but everyone always asks me when they have questions...it's baffling.

I don't know how these chats eat up my time, but they always fly by and pretty soon it's 1:30, OHNOEZ, I haven't started math homework! Something like that. It's the same thing every day. I need to turn it around.

I'm going to MLK this weekend with Tiffany, Grace, and Joyce. It went from two to four people in two hours, haha. Away messages on AIM always help :) I hope I can trick Norris into coming too, so I can poke fun at him for getting lost on the lightrail last time.

Panel's in late February and I'm seriously far from ready. Seriously, I have two more pieces to learn. I mean, I have only 5 months left, not to mention if I want straight A's this semester I have to work my freaking butt off.

I'm really scared about balancing all my activities all at once; my teacher was even going to make me go to a competition this year, but I really don't think I can handle it. There's always the Synopsis Science Faire, which I intend on doing this year, and well...I don't even know if I have time to research anything. My grades cannot drop ANY lower than they are right now and SAT's are just around the corner. This really bites. Junior year really bites.

Anyway, it's really late, seriously. I haven't done APUSH or finished math. /fail.

I wish it would happen.

I wish I could make myself work harder.

I'm scared to look at my grades.

Life sucks when you can't get your butt off the ground and work.

Hehe, I haven't been here in over a week.

APUSH midterm tomorrow. I have to study. I'll be back on the weekend, maybe.

♥

jeux d'eau

Joyce, Norris and I went to MLK today!

We studied apart while we were at the library because we all have different Project A topics anyway, plus it helps the concentration and mind flow. We were all on different floors for the whole time - Norris was down at the LL, I was on the sixth floor, and I have no idea where Joyce was. I have five books that I might possibly use now. Which reminds me, I need to go and renew my library book before I get another fine.

I ran into Lynn & Michelle Kim while I was studying, haha ♥

I skimmed the books first, and then I moved to a more private desk in a corner (the personal ones) and stayed there for an hour and a half. I did some SAT math practice and finished French homework. Then, I got yelled at for talking on my cell phone because Norris called and asked where I was. Whoops :(

After MLK we went to Starbucks where they all mooched off my food and my frap >:(


Yesterday...

Dexter, Norris and I went to MLK :) We didn't have much time, we only spent an hour there before the library closed and we left. Norris ditched us, AGAIN, so Dexter and I just studied on the 4th floor together :)

We went to Quickly because it was open and well, we're Asian! The girl who took my order was so rude. I asked for a passion fruit icy and she rolled her eyes at me and went "um, do you mean passion fruit slushy?" I wanted to slap her, it's not a wonder Quickly got sued a few years back with that kind of attitude :)

candid laughter: i hope her face gets blown up in a blender



haha, well I better run off to bed. I still have some unfinished homework to take care of...so until later, tata sayonara ♥

breakfast cafe opens at 7

I'll write here really quick before I rush off to finish my homework before 1:30 ):

I keep saying I hate junior year, but you know, I don't think I actually do. I think it's really challenging, and there's nothing I love better in life than challenges. If something is hard and people complain about the difficulty level, it just makes me more determined to be the one to solve it.

APUSH is actually not that bad if you keep up with everything. At least for now. I know after the first month or so, everyone stops reading...but well, I don't think that's a very good strategy, assuming that I want a 5 on the AP test. idk, I don't know very much yet; it's only the 2nd week of school. I'll find out more as I go along...but for now, I'll just leave junior year at the fact that's it's challenging and it really weeds out the people who REALLY want A's, as opposed to the people who kind of, sort of do, but not really.

I studied 3 or so hours for the AP Bio test on Tuesday. I was beating myself up at 2 AM when I finally crawled into bed for procrastinating so long and prolonging the stress and lack of sleep. I was pretty sure I didn't get a good grade when I turned it in. Then today, when I went up to give her a parent form, she was like "Karen...Lee...WAIT. I have something I need to tell you."

She thought for a while, and I just kind of stood there /weird and finally she said "oh yes. You did very well on the biology test from yesterday."

I was like OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG inside, but I just said thank you and sat back down. Turns out I got a 51/54, 4 points away from the person who set the curve (55)...who's from Harker (crazy people...). I was SO HAPPY during 2nd period because of my grade in bio. I just didn't beat the twins and I was mad because I wanted to beat them ):

I think this class is going to be interesting; I'll always be competing with Iris & Jess, which may or may not make me study harder :) it's a good thing.

In other news...my piano teacher introduced a piano competition to me and asked if I was interested. Believe me, I really, really want to do it. The cash prize is only $250 and master class entry, but I really want to do the competition because I love piano.

I don't know. I'm definitely not practicing hard enough. But if I want to win that competition I'll need to practice at least 2 1/2 hours each day...and junior year, I just don't have the time for that. No matter how efficient I am with homework there is no way I can play 2 hours and still keep straight A's, in addition to my spring sport, journalism duties and SAT's.

augh. I hate choosing between two passions. Straight A's or music major? ):

Okay, I should probably go work. Night everyone ♥

someone give me wings.

Sometimes, you just have to rant. Especially about Sarah Palin, McCain's choice for a vice president, who even finds the nerve to say:

Our beautiful daughter Bristol came to us with news that as parents we knew would make her grow up faster than we had ever planned. We're proud of Bristol's decision to have the baby and even prouder to become grandparents.

WOW. Complete and utter BLASPHEMY.

All I have to say, seriously, ugh. This is what America turns our kids into. Seriously, your daughter is pregnant at 17 years old, unmarried, plans to have her child and even marry her (maybe ex?) boyfriend. You are proud, PROUD, of her decision to have the baby she was not supposed to have in the first place, and after all that BS, you believe your daughter is beautiful? You are only trying to hide the fact that you have not raised your children correctly. Why would anyone with even a quarter of a brain want to give you the position of handling our country, secondary to only our president?

You don't deserve your governor position, and you certainly don't deserve this vice presidency. Seriously, people like you just make our world a more horrible place in which to live. You can't get any more ridiculous than that.

Huff. I was about to blow up after I read that article, seriously.

I despise this country and its stupid, absolutely BRAINLESS moral standards. This has gone too far.

math homework's annoying.

I don't kid you, this may possibly be the best cartoon ever made. Better than Tom & Jerry. And nothing beats Tom & Jerry. So, of course...this is pretty sensational. :)


花田一路, bought by my parents in Taiwan while I was at AID. It's a Japanese cartoon, and we bought the Taiwanese & Chinese versions. I watched the Taiwanese version one first. I laughed so hard that I cried when I watched this.

It's about a little boy who has an accident with a bicycle in the very beginning. He lives, but he soon finds out that in addition to the 9 stitches he got on the back of his head, he now has the ability to see ghosts too. Throughout the episodes, he helps individual ghosts with their problems, such as entering heaven, etc. It sounds kind of creepy to begin with but it's freaking hilarious. I encourage everyone to watch this.




I want to go to the library.
To study.

But I need to be more efficient and stop coming here to change my URL every twenty minutes );

is this the feeling

My brother comes up with the dumbest lies. :D

On Friday when my mom, brother and I went to the Costco food court for dinner, there was this crazy woman next to us in line. It went something like this...amused me for the longest time :D

Rude lady in line: You added that wrong. You added that wrong! *points at cash register number*
Clerk: Okay, I'll read off what you bought. Two churros, one salad, one yogurt...
Rude lady: Say it again.
Clerk: *repeats*
Rude lady: Oh, fine. *fishes for money, taking almost a full minute*
Rude lady: I want a bag for all this stuff. I want a bag.
Clerk: We don't give bags, ma'am *clearly annoyed*
Rude lady: I WANT MY RECEIPT *after paying*
Clerk: *annoyed* Next!

Then, when she was getting condiments for her hot dog...

Rude lady: *goes to window* I want some water. It's so dirty on the counter. I want water, now.

Geez, have you NEVER been to Costco?! This is what it's like, get used to it or leave. The business is good without you here anyway. :)

Anyway, I need to get a move on.

be my guiding star

augh, posting to blogspot is too addicting because it's too simple ):

Take Me To Your Heart makes me really nostalgic. It reminds me of the best summer of my life, my AID friends, my favorite students in the whole world...it reminds me of a forgotten romance that just recently shattered.

"They say nothing lasts forever...we're only here today."

I need to do my Collegeboard SAT online course...my cousin got it for me free with a promo code (original price $40.00!) and I need to make good use of it.

I really like the new AP Bio teacher. She's very what you might call hardcore, but she's really good and she's basically Bowen without the memory loss and the mushroom obsession :) I mean, she's even willing to hold weekend classes in case we can't finish the AP material on time...that's dedication for you. She's really hard though, I have to say that much ): There's a test on Tuesday (65 pts.) and a project due on Friday (25 pts.) and I'm pretty scared for both of them. ;_;

I need to get my clothes from my big sister, the ones she promised me... :\ She never got around to giving them to me, and I'm kind of sad because I like them a lot. I won't push her though; since she lives so far away.

Fall is just around the corner. Goodbye summer, come again another day. It's been the best one of my life...let's make the next one even better. ♥

take me to your heart

The bracelets I bought at the Taiwan night markets are falling apart...well not "falling apart" in that sense, but a section of the rose on the rose bracelet fell off and the paint's chipping off one of the beads on the four-strand one...ah well, what do you expect for 100 NT :(

The Project A topics get more and more boring as you near #400. I printed out the list and I have about 20 topics that I really want. The list will grow as I scrutinize the list further and research some...but I don't know how early I'm going to have to get up to get Norman Rockwell, which is my first choice. :|

In two days, the twins will be turning sixteen. I don't know what to think about them anymore. I know I'm mean to them, and I feel like I'm getting meaner every day. I'm not nice to people anymore and I feel as if I'm being corrupted by something. I'm irritable to everyone, and even to myself. As for the twins, I know they're not very good friends. If we want to go somewhere, it's usually "Oh, we're available only on Sundays, after five o'clock" which is absolutely ridiculous.

Elizabeth and I had these issues with them when they never could spend time with us, nor bothered to make efforts to. I don't regard them as friends anymore, because the term "one-way friendship" is an oxymoron. But I don't know what to do. I know being mean to them is wrong. I'm not...swearing at them or anything, I just don't look them in the eye and don't really talk to them at lunch. I know it's mean. But when you're on a roll, you don't really stop...augh, that's the worst habit I have. I never leave the rolls that I'm on until someone coaxes me out of it.

ugh, I know I'm not making sense.

I have gifts for them but I don't want to go out on Monday. I want to mail them.

What should I do?

Stop being mean, maybe? Very obviously, that's the best way out...but augh, I never, and that means never leave my rolls, even when I know they're wrong. It just feels so lame to leave them.

I'm wrong every way I look.

you are the symphony of my heart

Recently, I've been playing a lot of piano...I don't know what I want in life anymore. Odd sentence to write right after that, but I play piano for an hour and get tired. But when I think back to practicing...maybe half an hour later, I (seriously) ache to go back and play more. I love piano more than anything. Using it as a major would be absolutely wonderful. But it's so competitive, and I can't practice for an hour and a half without getting tired of it...what does that mean? No passion?

Music is what defines my life. But I...play piano. Piano? Everyone plays piano. Gracious, that's not that good of an accomplishment, is it? I've been playing since I was six. That's ten years. But hey, EVERYONE does that!

Something like that.

Anyway, I have a lot of homework this weekend, so I'm going to go work on that. I'm not changing blogspots anymore. I've used this email account for so long and I hate changing because I have to add everyone back and bug people about adding me back. I hate being bugged and therefore I hate bugging people.